So sometimes there are those times in your life when you cannot do anything but just sit and soak. I've been having a week of that time, I have nothing left emotionally, I feel a little drained and so I just sit.
Thanksgiving was so wonderful to be able to spend a full 5 days at home with my family. I cannot begin to describe how good it was to just be back in West Texas. However, with this trip we discovered new health problems, some old ones which are only getting worse. Mom has suffered with depression with years, just when you think she might be doing well again and able to function. Something happens to knock her back down. It's so bad right now we had to make her take a leave of absence from school for awhile. Hopefully this will help her get her medicine back on track. But How many times have we said that too? My heart is so burdened for her and I just wish there was some way to pray this depression, disease, plague away from her forever.
Then Friday after Thanksgiving my Granny was admitted to the hospital upon her admission we learned of very new diagnosis of Ovarian Cancer. Which has already advanced to a Stage 4 and had spread and was causing fluid build up on her lungs and in her abdomen.
They want to do 3 sets of chemo then surgery for her.
We also have Lance's papa too who is still down in Houston at MD Anderson, who praise the Lord is doing much better but still just so ready to come home, him and his wife both. Lance and I both ended up getting really sick with a head cold that lasted for a week.
Then also upon arrival home we found out that Lance didn't the job at Wells Fargo which we were both so sure of him getting. He's still in the job search looking, applying, and hoping desperately that somewhere along the way something will open up.
So I guess with all this right now is just one of those times in my life where all I can do is sit on my couch with my bible open, not that I have the energy to read anything in it. But I just have it open for comfort and I have been listening to the same song over and over again on repeat for hours, "It Is Well With My Soul." Praying, Hoping, Knowing that somehow and someway the Good Lord will take all these burdens away and work them all out for His Good. It's all I really can do right now. Just be in his presence and let him minister to me.
"Knowing whatever my lot has taught me to say it is well with my soul."
2 comments:
Praying right now for you sweet girl. Wish I could see you. I know you look adorable. I'll be praying for your family as well. If ya'll ever need a weekend break, we are only about 80 minutes away. Remember the righteous are never forsaken. Trust in the Lord's hand to provide what you need and what will honor Him the most. Love you.
All this with pregnant emotions on top of it- you are a trooper. I know I can't take away all the surrounding chaos but the Lord has provided me with some great prayer times in the middle of the night : ) I will remember you during those times. Love you friend! Hope to see you soon.
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